The Tragedy of Suicide

" I am very disappointed by the comments made by the author in the above captioned article.

Ms. Pfeiffers comments are truly callous, irresponsible, and do not in my opinion, merit publication in any reputable newspaper.

Ms. Pfeiffer takes on the sensitive emotional subject of suicide in a manner that clearly shows she has no grasp of the subject from a professional perspective. I suggest that your contributing authors, when writing on such topics in the future, do some research to gain an adequate understanding of all the relevant issues before they are published.

Ms. Pfeiffer makes an obvious contradiction of herself when early in her article she says, Suicide is the epitome of selfishness -- the most self-centered act humanly possible. Then near the end of her article she says, If someone is hell-bent on killing themselves the least they could do is select a less violent messy method. But then again, that would involve rational thinking. Ms. Pfeiffer accuses the person committing suicide of being intentionally, selfish and self-centered, but then acknowledges that the same person cannot, involve rational thinking. Ms. Pfeiffer has committed a gross and inconsiderate oxymoron in her article.

Ms. Pfeiffer should realize that suicide is cultivated in the soil of despair. Geoff Ashley, Theology Pastor at the Village Church in Flower Mound, Texas, wrote a thoughtful Biblical position paper on suicide, (it is posted to the Church's Web site - www.thevillagechurch.net), in which he describes such a state of despair as, "A terrible affliction which robs, steals, blinds, deafens and misdirects. The despairing soul feels no hope, no rest, and no joy as emptiness, numbness, and apathy produce a spiritual vacuum. Darkness descends like a fog lying thick upon the heart and mind and nothing is seen, felt or heard except the silence." A person in such a state cannot be held responsible for their own actions. Such an individual is truly, not in their right mind and is completely irrational and unable to see any way forward as would a rationally thinking individual. An individual in such a despairing state can be no more blamed for their predicament than an individual who has a life threatening disease such as cancer.

Ms. Pfeiffer makes a final ridiculous comment in her article that, too bad those throwing their lives away cant switch places with cancer patients who are fighting to live. Once again, with this comment she infers that a person committing suicide could make a rational decision to trade their life for a cancer patient. But, even if someone at arms length could switch places for a dying cancer patient, with someone contemplating suicide, would anyone actually do that? Would you not take the person contemplating suicide to appropriate treatment just as you would with a cancer patient? This scenario proposed by Ms. Pfeiffers caps her ignorance and insensitivity toward the issue of suicide. Her comments are simply without merit.

I believe your readers deserve better quality journalism than what is reflected in Ms. Pfeiffers article. Especially in regard to a topic such as suicide that carries so much hurt and sadness for people who have been affected by it.

David Bruce
Flower Mound, Texas "

" I put off reading Ms. Pfeiffers the Tragedy of Suicide that was sent to me (together with response, which I hope will be published) from my college roommate and close personal friend, John. I didnt want to revisit this subject, because it terrifies me. John has now twice endured a tragedy that goes to the epicenter of a parents vulnerabilities we have the least amount of control over our most treasured and precious gifts, our family and most especially our children. Above all else, we sacrifice to keep them safe, healthy and happy, but in the end, we have little if any control over any of these outcomes.

Ms. Pfeiffer articulates what Ive heard is a stage that most persons directly affected by suicide pass through. That is undoubtedly why my friend John is measured and kind in his reaction to her article. I read (slowly, carefully and twice) both Ms. Pfeiffers article and my friend Johns reply, and I can offer nothing to what John already says (and so intimately knows to be true). After all, Im one of the lucky ones what would I know?

At moments like this, Im only left with feelings of gratitude, prayers of continued good fortune for my own family, and the fears of what tomorrow could potentially bring.

In an effort to be influenced by Johns own gentleness, I might offer for Ms. Pfeiffers personal reflection that her own views might demonstrate more than just a trace of the self-centeredness she so despises. Its a fallen world in which we live, and perhaps we are all called to be a bit more gentle and forgiving. I pray for her loss and for Johns. "

" The only thing I find disgusting here is Ms. Pfeiffer's attitude. This article is "the epitome of selfishness -- the most self-centered act humanly possible". "

" Dear Mr. Will,

My brother who lives in Coppell, Texas passed along your recent column, "The Tragedy of Suicide." I'm not sure what prompted you to use your "highly coveted column space" for personal dumping but I would like to suggest that you revisit your sense of honor and privilege at having a public format in which to speak to a wide audience.

Suicide, like adoption, abortion, and many other deeply personal topics is rife with personal experiences that vary widely depending on hundreds of factors including the emotional constitution of the people involved. Ms. Pfeiffer's personal dumping is just that and has no place in a respectable newspaper column. It is not even an "opinion piece" but rather an emotional outburst of the sort one needs to express somewhere after significant loss - preferably in grief counseling and/or one's personal healing journal, or with very close family and friends but not in a public format. Opinion connotes at least some understanding of the issue beyond one's personal suffering, especially when that suffering is new and raw. Informed opinion includes personal experience, research, and enough processing of information to speak intelligently, even if emotionally, about a topic or experience.

Losing a family member or close friend to suicide is devastating. John and I lost our brother this way 12 years ago at the age of 40. David hung himself because he could not see any way to save his own life and gave up trying. He led a very difficult life, and left a note explaining his situation and his 'decision' to "end this misery." My nephew, John's son Michael, took his life with a gun almost 2 years ago at the age of 20. We will never know what was going through his mind and heart at that moment as he did not leave a note, but given his overall enthusiasm and warm hearted approach to living we can only assume he suffered a time in his young life, and then a moment of utter despair in which he ended it all.

I wrote 108,000 words in a journal the year Michael died to process my grief, my feelings on life and death, and to find a place of balance in my mind and heart. There is no way to ever fully recover from deep personal loss, especially the loss of a child. The loss becomes part of you and goes forward with you forever. There are ways to find a balance in how you manage the impact of loss in your own life, and to heal. Johns suggestion to attend a grief group is a very good one, and I hope Ms. Pfeiffer will get started in that right away. I know that participating with the Touched By Suicide organization has helped by brother, sister-in-law, and niece gain a broader perspective while having a place to process. They have also researched and learned about suicide to become informed. These actions always contribute to healing, if a person wants to heal.

Finally, I find it insulting that Ms. Pfeiffer compares Whitney Houstons suicide to her family members suicide (it is not clear in her letter if Mike was a nephew, brother, what.) There is no comparison, and none is needed. Lots of people take drugs and are addicts. Lots of people are depressed, physiologically or through addiction, or both. According to the statistics, lots of people commit suicide and for the most part, we will never really know why because its not possible to ask after the fact and its not possible to get inside their heads to find out. Ms. Pfeiffers need to riff on Whitney causes me to wonder if in the end, her goal was to have an outlet for dumping about the media attention given to celebrities, the glorifying of their often outlandish, outrageous, and inappropriate life styles that inundates our information sources (which by the way, your column became with the publication of said dumping piece.)

But in the end, I venture to guess that Whitneys family and close friends are grieving her loss with the same depth of feelings that my family grieves the loss of our David and Michael. If there is anything in common it is the heartbreak that losing a son, brother, sister, parent, daughter, friend causes for the ones who love them. It would be interesting to hear from Ms. Pfeiffer after she has taken actions to experience, understand and manage her grief and can contribute to the conversation in a way that is helpful.

Respectfully,

Cheryl Ramette "